At the age of 14, I had continued playing sports year round at Highland High School. I played Volleyball in the fall, basketball in the winter, and soccer in the spring- enough to keep me busy. On top of that- my school work. I would often go over to my friends’ houses on the weekends and hangout. Everything seemed fine and I felt full-filled. I had good grades and enjoyed playing sports.

It wasn’t until I would get home and sat on my bed to do homework, that I felt “empty”. I would cry everyday as I did my homework. I would not have something sad going on, but as soon as I was alone in bed doing homework, I would feel this need to cry. I cried after having a fun day with friends at school and practice. At the time, I thought it was normal- I was just an overall sensitive person.

As time went by, I noticed I was beginning to hate going to basketball practice. I hated playing in the games. I would experience anxiety before our basketball games would start. I would over think our defense and offense “drills” and ended up frustrated. I did not want to go out there anymore. I remember begging my coach to not assign me as a starter to play point-guard. I was terrified of that position. She noticed I was stressed, more than one normally would and grabbed me by the hands and told me, “You can do this, I know you can-you’ll do just fine, I’m here.” I nervously walked into the court and began to do my thing. As soon as she pulled me out to take a break I felt relieved, like a weight had lifted off my shoulders and she whispered, “See you did just fine, good job.” I felt happy, but during the whole game I battled with my internal emotions. I knew I had to get in there and play, but I felt so uneasy that I would begin to feel light-headed. All I wanted to do was run out of that place, I detested it. I no longer enjoyed playing sports, but was forced to continue them.

My mother wanted me to play sports so I would be able to hang out with friends and I could maintain a healthy body weight- something I needed back then. I knew if I left sports, my whole family would be upset at me. I continued to play. My freshman year of high school, I decided to continue to play soccer. I was so nervous for the first day of practice. I wanted to continue to play sports with my friends, but that first day of practice ruined me. I had started playing basketball at the age of 11 and had continued, but that day, my knee problems worsened to the point where I could not walk and had to limp. I was so embarrassed to leave practice on the first day. I was in pain. I visited the doctor’s office and was told I was to take a break from doing sports. I was forced to go to physical therapy for a year and I felt useless as I saw my friends continue the season without me.

Many people deal with stress in different ways, some in better ways than others. Various people nowadays have opened up about their anxiety and depression-something I have also been dealing with and kept on the “down low.” I, at times feel of ashamed to admit it with people. I know I shouldn’t, but  I have always been a very private person, especially with personal things like this. I have never been very open about this because I really dislike bringing up the topic since it makes me uncomfortable, but it’s always better to express your thinking. And what a better way than writing, right?

I began feeling symptoms of anxiety at the age of nine. At the time I knew nothing about anxiety. I grew up in a very traditional Mexican family, where a family is never really open about their emotions and such “mental illnesses” are looked down upon. If something doesn’t affect you physically, then it doesn’t matter. I believe I have always been too mature for my age and was always more aware of my surroundings. Sometimes too much.

As a child, I always dreamed of one day living in a big city, where I would not know anyone and I could in a way begin all over again. I dreamed of moving back to California to begin a life where I could be myself-from new friends to a new career. I have always had a strong case of wanderlust, and I have been saving up money to hopefully go to Thailand. From the food to the culture, everything about Thailand fascinates me.

I have always dreamed of traveling or having a job that involved lots of it. For financial reasons, our family was never able to travel as much as we would have liked to. The only country I have visited besides the U.S of course, is Mexico. Personally, the weather was too warm for my taste and there were was only so much blood my body could provide for all the mosquitoes that lived in Mexico. Ugh way too many! But I have always wanted to visit countries, I knew nothing about. Something so different, like China or Japan, simply because the culture is so different and I could really expand my knowledge about the country first hand. I would be able to try authentic, Chinese dishes and learn about the language as-well as the ways people go about their days in those countries.

I have many things to accomplish throughout my lifetime and one of them is getting to travel the world. Cliche, but true. I hope to one day earn enough money to be able to travel with family and give my Mom the luxury she deserves.

A women’s life is always difficult, whether you are young or reaching your older years. As a young woman myself, I experience lots of complications in my everyday life.  Don’t get me wrong a enjoy being a young women with its flaws and all because even through its harsh moments its fun being a girl. You get to be creative from your clothes to makeup and hair. Nothing beats that. With many great things, come the negative as well. Women still experience lots of sexism today which should be shocking.

Coming from a Mexican household I experience it from time to time. Mexican values and traditions really emphasize the male as the main person in the family. Such remarks as, “You’re supposed to be in the kitchen helping your mom cook, the homework can wait!” Such statements make me furious because my father could be simply watching TV, waiting for his food to be served and he does not bother to move a finger to help my mother cook. Instead he simply calls me over even though I am busy doing homework. These actions make me furious. Everyone has legs and hands, there should be no excuse for someone to be able go cook something for themselves simply because of their gender. This is simply pathetic and it makes me furious that sexist people still exist.

I often ask my self this question. Who am I going to be in the future? Personality wise, I hope I remain the humorous person I am now and career wise…I am not so sure. I have always had interests in a little bit of everything, so when asked what are my interests, I get so flustered. Recently, having gone to Advising Day at YVC this question was asked and I did not know how to respond. There is not something I love entirely, but I have always dipped in different subjects I found interesting. Nothing too interesting enough to be able to plan my whole future around. I have always found the subject of Psychology extraordinary, but now that I am actually taking a class about it, I find that I am not that interested in the scientific side of psychology like the “neurons” etc. So that’s out of the list. If I did not really enjoy Psychology, I may have an interest towards Sociology, but that was not the case. I feel like Sociology states the obvious of society’s norms. Then comes a communications class that I really only began taking because I enjoyed expressing my thoughts through writing. Not thinking much of it, I began taking a great interest in the subject and soon questioned myself. What if I majored in Communications? It is something I felt content saying, which does not always happen. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere. My communication class had strengthened my interest in writing which lead me to know what I want to do for the rest of my life. I finally feel relieved to be able to know what I plan on doing in my future. I finally feel happy with the direction I’m heading towards even though, my parents and siblings do not necessarily agree. I finally found something I am passionate about and for that I am grateful. It feels good saying it. Thanks Communication Class 140, I owe you.

Have you ever sat in class or at work and wondered what you would rather be doing? I do, especially now that it is getting colder and no one feels like leaving their bed. I often daydream and one of the topics I often think about is what I could be doing instead that would have made today perfect- at least in my eyes right? Now that fall is here and winter is slowly creeping up on us, I am always in the mood to rent a fun, entertaining movie at the nearest red box to take home after college. I imagine my perfect day consisting of a partially sunny and cloudy day with me driving home from college and stopping for a lemonade at Starbucks. As I arrive home I change into my fuzzy pajamas and prepare myself a warm hot chocolate with fluffy marshmallows. I sit down in my living room and put the movie, “Beetlejuice” on my Tv as my cat, Frida lays next to me. I then wait for my mother to get home from work so we can chit chat about how our days have been so far. Then we get ready and go run errands together in Yakima such as, buying paintings for my room that I am currently remodeling. I use her input on whether the pineapple painting will match my yellow room and light blue sheets. After we are done, we stop at Cruising Coffee for a flavored red bull and a frosted cookie and let me tell you-they are delicious! As we arrive home, I shower, lay in my room and begin doing my homework while I jam out to music at a low volume. I then am finished and get   called to the dinner table where my mother has prepared our family’s favorite dish “sopes.” Cleaned the table, brushed my teeth, and I am now off to bed where I check my phone one last time after praying and only until then I can go to sleep peacefully. What does your everyday “ideal” day consist of?

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I grew up in the small town of Cowiche with big dreams and few opportunities. I always knew I wanted to live in a much bigger city, that is why I enrolled at universities located in big cities. I was going through what one would call, a “Midlife Crisis”. Sounds silly right? At only eighteen years old? Yeah right, but it’s true. I felt like I hit an all time low Summer of 2018. I was forced to make big girl decisions after I graduated high school in June. Now no one was going to be on my butt constantly telling me what I needed to do. It was now up to me to decide what I really wanted to do with my life and that was nerve-wreaking.

I had committed to Pacific Lutheran University located in Tacoma, Washington, only two hours from where my family lives. I was not ready to leave my family, especially my dear mother, but I knew if I did not leave for college, I would never gather up enough courage to ever do it. As I waited for August 30th to come closer, I found out the college classes I was taking in Highschool were not going to be accepted at PLU. At that point, I felt defeated. I knew I could no longer go there. I did not want to waste a year taking classes that I had already paid for and taken at my high school. I wanted leave home, but I did not want to waste time, so I was stuck in limbo. I was so stressed and sad- I had dropped out of that college and was now lost. I had no idea what I wanted to do and I had declined all the universities I had applied to for PLU, even declined a full ride at SPU. I was so unhopeful, towards my future. I had no idea what I wanted to major in and what college I was going to. I later found out YVC was still accepting applications and I felt like my world had become brighter. I finally had a place to go and I was happy. I am still uncertain, but I am grateful to still have the opportunity to continue studying.

My interest in fashion was something that did not develop instantly over night. As a matter of fact, it was something I really disliked in my early years because I had trouble expressing myself through my clothes. I found it annoying to go shopping in my early teen years because I found it difficult to dress my body in a way that I liked. I never found clothes interesting in the first place and I believed it was something that was unnecessary. As I grew older I learned to gain an appreciation for fashion and instead of looking at picking out an outfit in the morning for school as a duty, I learned to have fun with it and get creative. I began getting inspired from social media sites such as, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest- where I mostly followed pages about celebrity street styles. I have always had a type of casual style , but when I opened my Instagram I grew fond towards skirts and dresses and trust me- I hated them.  I am extremely in love with Madison Beer’s style- a singer- because of her retro high waisted jeans and black leather boots. Her style is something that stands out nowadays and differentiates her from the crowd, so I am trying to achieve something similiar and get to know myself better through fashion. It is going to be exciting to see how my fashion sense is going to change throughout the years and it will also help me become more appreciative of myself.

Athziri Andrea Garibay, born in Hayward, California, raised in Cowiche, Washington by two Mexican parents. She grew up in the small town of Cowiche along three brothers who taught her to have thick skin. Athziri developed an interest in TV, music, and writing at a young age. She began to write “horror” stories at age eight or nine, which she thought of as brilliant pieces of artwork. As she grew into her “tweens”, she felt as if she had her whole life figured out. Athziri would go to WSU, graduate a pediatrician and go on to buy a two story house. As 18 year old Athziri, graduated she grew weary about what would become of her and what she wanted to do. She finally decided to go to YVC and explore her interests varying from writing to psychology. She hopes to one day work in a field she is happy in.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton